Odds & Sods

Abandoned? I'm Sorry

2010-07-27T16:09:00.004+08:00

Sorry, Blogspot.

I just discovered Tumblr and it's magic. It uploads pictures way faster than you do! But despair not, mi love. I'll reach to you soon.

Till then, I love you.

Today, I See

2010-05-18T23:38:00.003+08:00

There are many things in life that I regret not doing earlier, but right now I keep telling myself,

"Pass the point of no return,"

and so today I did the things I must do. Today, I am prepared for now and I look forward to seeing tomorrow.

Joyce

Happy Celebrations

2010-05-15T17:32:00.005+08:00

1. Congratulations to SMK Puteri Choir Team!

2. Happy Sexy 18th Bee Day, Abirami Gnana Kumar.

3. Happy 19th Birthday, Hew Kah Mun.

This is good, this is good.

A Ride In Daddy's Car

2010-05-15T00:58:00.006+08:00

So I do get bored easily.

These were taken with a Canon Digital IXUS 40 - 4.0 Mega Pixels. By the way, these photographs are original, raw and unedited. The first is the texture of the padding of my laptop bag; second - the car window with a few drops of rain; and third - the car lock.

Then there was rain

The sound foundations are crumbling

Through the grounds comes a bit of a-tumbling

And time was just floating away

We can watch it and stay

And we can listen

Rainy Day - Coldplay

The colours so blue complemented my mood on a typical rainy day.

With love.

15th May 2010

2010-05-15T00:29:00.006+08:00

I love it when my hair gets a good wash and a warm blow, then it gets fluffy.

There's More To Winning

2010-05-09T16:13:00.008+08:00

Choir, oh choir.

Good times had passed, great moments are remembered. I truly believe that passion, discipline and unity are keys that would enhance the chances of winning.

Months, days, hours, minutes and seconds of practice.

Judgement day? Less than ten minutes, one performance, zero mistakes.

Halt.

The crowd does not seem to be listening.

Are those our competitors?

Why is that lady on the phone?

Wait, the judge. What is he doing?

Did I see a frown, or was that a smile?

Oh! I see supporters cheering!

I see, I see!

You see nothing.

Because she tells you, "We are going to win this, we will."

Not I.

Not you.

We.

You follow your leader, you obey.

See things as one, then your team shall be the one.

The choir experience is one of the greatest journeys you can go through, only if you understand the objective of it. Learn to listen, learn to respect, learn to accept.

I wish all of you the best of luck in the upcoming competition, you have every bit of my support.

Think of the stage, the best performer wins it all.

Lots of love,

Joyce

2010-03-05T15:13:00.003+08:00

"Why are you wearing glasses to sleep?"

"Well, so that I can see my dreams."

2010-03-05T14:17:00.007+08:00

nervous |ˈnərvəs|

adjective1 easily agitated or alarmed; tending to be anxious; highly strung : a sensitive, nervous person | these quick, nervous birds.• anxious or apprehensive : staying in the house on her own made hernervous | I was nervous about my new job.• (of a feeling or reaction) resulting from anxiety or anticipation :nervous energy.

Just Do It Yourself

2010-02-27T14:47:00.005+08:00

This afternoon, I found some white satin ribbons, and an old plastic hairband. After searching all over the place for a pair of sharp scissors and a tube of UHU glue, I started working on my do-it-yourself hair accessory.

Snip snip snip, fold fold fold, paste paste paste.

This is my first attempt, but I feel satisfied to say that I am pleased with the results. However, the colour is not so pretty, as I prefer it to be off-white or some shade of ivory. The satin material is also not my favourite, but oh well.

Not sure whether I'll be wearing it out or not though. Nevertheless, this is another piece to the collection, whee!

Dong Dong Qiang!

2010-02-20T01:13:00.012+08:00

Family reunions during festive seasons, definitely on my top ten list of favourite moments.

The simplicity of homemade food made lunch very enjoyable, and so I went for second and third helpings. However, I would say that the best part of it was having the meal with my fellow cousins, who came back from different regions of the country just to celebrate the occasion.

Stir-fried assorted mushrooms and peas.

Steamed kampung chicken.

Fried fish in sweet & sour sauce.

Chicken rendang.

Some black pepper stewed meat.

A type of shellfish, known as lala, cooked with dried shrimps.

Fish & prawn paste wrapped in wonton skin.

And the rest of our lunch served on the common table.

Second day of Chinese New Year was spent at Genting Highlands, and the initial plan was to use the cable-car to reach the top instead of driving there. However, Mr. Driver missed a turn and we ended up at the Genting Skyway at Awana, which was not operating when we were there. We continued our journey in the family car, and was fortunate enough as we saw the Chin Swee Temple on the way and decided to pay a visit.

The weather was quite cold, but I would say that addition of mist made the temple visit seem as if we were in China, and I really like that.

And these were taken indoors.

We got hungry, so we went to The Bakery to get some nice pastries!

Strawberry cheese cupcake, I like, I like, I like!

Hot chicken pie!

Onion and ham quiche, yum.

All in all, Chinese New Year this year was pure superbness.

Addition To The Collection

2010-02-14T16:00:00.004+08:00

Homecomings. My snowglobes. Teehee!

Addition to my collection.

This one is given by Ashley, who came to visit after her AFS High School Exchange Program in Italy. The snow globe's from Rome!

This one from Heidelberg, Germany, is at least the size of my fist.

The bigger, the better - my favourite! My brother got it when he was in Barcelona, the second largest city in Spain. Sparkle sparkle, hee.

The Red Fortress. From Alhambra, Spain. It was a palace back then. The little monument in the globe is the Alhambra itself, while the others around it are historical places in Spain.

In Spain, he visited the bull-fighting ring and got this for me. Barcino - Mosaic Animal Collection. Miniature bull inside is made out of mosaic tiles, obviously.

Tadaa. Surprise! Teddy bears and soft toys are not supposed to be included in my collection, but as far as I can remember, I seem to receive many from the people I love since my tenth birthday. So I decided that they do deserve to sit in the display shelf, proud and happy to be mine.

Love this one! Apparently, this is a beer bear for some reasons that I am not too sure myself. In the paper tag above, icons of beer mugs are used to describe the place of where my bear came from. Not an alcoholic, I hope.

Presents, presents, presents. Who doesn't want them?

Thankful, thankful, thankful? Yes I am, yes I am, yes I am.

p.s. Have a happy Chinese New Year!

Random Things: Day #1

2010-01-24T10:01:00.012+08:00

Walking down the black tar road towards the entrance of the place, I see people of all kinds.

A dude munching on his late breakfast, dragging his feet while others hurriedly walked towards their destination.

A petite lady clinging onto the arms of her tall friend, as he carried her heavy books with his free arm.

Then, a yellow bus stopped directly in front of the entrance. As the passengers scurried out of the vehicle, they chatted and laughed, obviously excited about a new day.

It is then, when I decided that my new hobby would be watching people. I shall learn how to grow as I witness their growth.

During lunch, I met a few friends (Kenneth, Lucas, Matthew, Subrash) who came all the way from another town to catch up with their friend, Pravin. My classmates, Abi and Sue Yinn, were with me. After the bunch of people waved goodbye and left us to our remaining lunch, I couldn't remember whether it was Abi or Sue Yinn who exclaimed in surprise, but one of them said that they have never met someone who was taller than David before this. This David we know is pretty tall, but since Subrash paid a visit and reminded me of his distinct height, I realized that there are many things and people that I've yet to discover and meet. And not one of them would be a duplicate of the other.

There are no limits to how one can grow, whether physically, mentally or emotionally.

Yesterday, catching up with Soon Yie, Geraldine and Loges was awesome. For the first time in my life, I played Para Para Paradise at the arcade. Fun fun fun! And we actually went into the glass capsule-like booth for karaoke at Green Box.

Trying something new brings no harm, as long as the nature of that something does not harm oneself.

I guess that there is so much to learn out there, therefore I wish myself all the best in deciphering this coded life.

p.s. Happy birthday, Sue Yinn! And congratulations to David, the new Class Representative of Class L1 2010.

This Is Totally Last Year

2010-01-03T00:36:00.007+08:00

With RM15.00 in my purse to purchase the ticket, I managed to capture these photographs with my mobile phone camera in just an hour. Too bad for the lousy quality, but these were the least it could offer.

This is the event booklet cover; done by fans, for fans.

And these are the 19 shots that I got as a result from the one hour I spent at the Sunway Convention Centre:

To be frank and honest, I did not know the origins of more than half the characters portrayed by these enthusiastic costume players. I would not dare to call myself a fan, but I truly admire the Japanese workpieces.

To think about it, I was once so attracted to the beauty of animations that I had tried learning to draw them by myself. Indeed, it was fun. That was once upon a time, I would say. Do not get me wrong though. My interests in these areas are not gone, but I must admit that there are many things out there that I prefer to explore. Yes, this may seem to be the end of manga drawing for me, but who knows?

Maybe, just maybe, you can find them alive in some random pages of my college notebooks. Just the heads, and I hope that's not too disappointing. To master the art of drawing the whole anatomy of a character proportionately is by far the most challenging task to do in manga drawing. I think.

Well, duh, Joyce. Duh.

Totally last year, but the passion was there nevertheless.

Happy 2010 for now,

Joyce.

Spin Me Round

2009-12-15T09:21:00.004+08:00

Time flies, like whooshh.

January.

February.

March.

April.

May.

June.

July.

August.

September.

October.

November.

December!

Things I wanted to do after the Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) examinations? There was a 5-feet long list. From composing a music masterpiece to random doodling, from getting ready for Christmas to searching for an adequate education institution, everything changed when a sudden decision was made.

January 2010.

So this is it. Moving on is one of the most enjoyable things to do, in my opinion. College? So this is it, this is it, this is it. Independence. Discipline. Responsibilities. Sounds like a great challenge. A new start, who doesn't want that?

Before that, Christmas comes first. Colourful streetlights, a red Santa in a costume, children making wishes, shimmery ribbons, metallic ornaments, fuzzy lights around tall artificial fir trees, foam snow, roast chicken, laughters, and presents. But no eggnogs by the cosy fire. Not too authentic, but the people here are celebrating with much joy nevertheless.

So I've been told, it started snowing in Heilbronn, Germany. At last, a white Christmas! Wishing that I was there, indeed I do.

One day, I'm going to build Frosty the Snowman. Protected by boots, mittens and warm clothing, I'm going to shape perfect snowballs, play with the others who are just as enthusiastic as I am, and wouldn't mind walking on the wet road.

Thursday.

Friday.

Saturday.

Sunday.

Monday.

Tuesday.

Wednesday.

Thursday.

Friday. Mmmm.

Earth turns faster, but spin me around again anyway.

Hohoho,

Joyce.

Snow Globes, Cookies & A Vibrating Ladybug

2009-09-04T13:08:00.006+08:00

There was a countdown for Sijil Peperiksaan Malaysia (SPM) Trial days.
National Day.
Birthdays.

And there is his homecoming.

As he promised, he got me snow globes from the places he travelled in Europe. Get me one from every region, I said. But he found only three so far. First, from Paris - Northern France. Second, from Vienna - capital of the Republic of Austria. And third, from Prague - the capital city of Czech Republic. It was better than what I imagined, really. Bigger, and prettier. It is not my turn to travel yet, but he's a few steps ahead. At least I got these souvenirs, and with that I'm satisfied.

Chocolate chip cookies!

GiOTTO, a Ferrero Rocher look-alike, except that it is filled with hazelnut cream. I found out that it is actually made by the producer of Ferrero Rocher, and Nutella too! Funny, but my life seems to be revolved around Nutella and hazelnut cream. My wonder cream. Mmm.

And a vibrating ladybug.

It is a hand-held personal massager, a really cute one.
Press the eyeballs down and it starts. Pretty interesting, don't you think? Teehee.

Here's a month of joy, before he returns to Germany.

But for now, my brother is home. And I'm Lovin' It.

Uniquity

2009-08-31T09:28:00.020+08:00

1. The Marketplace

2. The Craft-works

3. The Pasar Malam

4. The Patriotism

5. The Food

6. The Colours

Happy Independence Day, Malaysia.

The Season is Here!

2009-08-29T21:15:00.005+08:00

Dad came home today with a box of mooncakes; it was a green rectangular box with simple oriental designs and printed Chinese art on the cover, containing 4 different flavoured mooncakes. A gift from a friend, he said.

Durian Lotus Paste with Single Yolk
Snow Skin White Lotus Paste
Assorted Nuts "Ng Yan"
Dragon Fruit Lotus Paste

mmm..

With Mooncake Festival just around the corner, you can see most food outlets and bakeries displaying their own brand of this traditional delicacy almost everywhere you go. Honestly, it is the vibrant-coloured packagings that really catch my attention. My personal favourite would be those boxes made out of wood, almost looking like a Japanese bento box. Classic indeed.

The one I have at home today; the one that marks the beginning of the festival, is from Genting, the City of Entertainment, or so it seems.

And so, my brother and I attacked the box immediately, trying to decide which flavour to choose. Only because the Durian Lotus Paste with Single Yolk had a yolk inside, my brother insisted that we open that one first. Fine, I said. But before I could run to take my camera, the mooncake was gone, proving that my family warmly welcomes the season.

Then, dad saw the Assorted Nuts "Ng Yan" mooncake (his favourite), but mum saw the Snow Skin White Lotus Paste (the only green coloured mooncake in the box) flavoured mooncake and wanted to have a taste. Being the gentleman in the family, dad obviously gave in. This time, I had my camera with me.

The taste was very mild, and the texture was very creamy (I think that it was made out of marzipan, and it was left unrefrigerated. That's why it looks so mushy). What's fun is that you can crunch on the melon kernel seeds. To be honest, I am not a fan of mooncakes, but I guess that I just enjoy the happy atmosphere when everyone else is enjoying their share of the delicacy.

There is much history to this festival, go check it out on Google. May this rich culture live on in our community! Besides, at what other suitable occasions can you play lighted paper lanterns and coloured candles with your neighbours, friends and loved ones?

Happy celebrating!

p.s. Happy 52nd Birthday Malaysia!

Published

2009-08-12T23:38:00.004+08:00

And so 'Of Love For Dolls & Wonder Cream' got published in The Star today.
At the Star-NiE's Stuff@school section.
However, its title got changed. To 'No Silver Lining'.
The editor did have the rights to change it.
Quite disappointing actually, I wanted the original to stay.
But I am thankful, and not to mention grateful to have it published.
And a whole page for it too! Yipee!

Didn't know that it was out until someone came up to me in school and complimented lightly on the story, saying that she saw it in the papers and that really caught me by surprise.

Did not think that they were going to pick mine.

I guess that I would consider this as a little accomplishment of the month. Whee!

Am so happy, smiling right now. Hee hee.

Working hard for Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) Trials,
-Joyce

Of the Body & Mind

2009-08-08T08:38:00.000+08:00

Something urged me to do this piece early this morning.
It is quite personal, really.

The protector of the Mind secures me from weak judgement,
whereas the protector of the Body is none other than me.

A dedication to those who had moments when they could see no rationality.

The Protector

Nobody said that Life is what you wish it to be
nor is it a game which is too easy to win
it is a Challenge
and perseverance is the Key
Take it easy, but do accept this world of sin

be Strong, be armed, let not these thoughts be dismayed
for clouded feelings may lead you astray
but in Truth, a fact
The sensible thoughts never betray

when all things Fail and it felt like you would
think harder, then see the Sense you should
step back, take deep breaths a few
tell me then, when you can
The beautiful clear view

material and money, it is my Priority
aid the young blind, oh wait
he is Me
hate not this man, but please make him see
I am your hope, your leader to be

this strength is mine, not yours to defeat
back off, I warn! It's best to take heed
A predator,
but a Protector I may be
now use your Wit, so be quick on the feet.

Like an effective shield. It is to me.

The Protector,
-joyce.

Fragility Factor

2009-08-05T01:43:00.000+08:00

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. -Plato

Feel the rhythm, hear the beats
It is alive
It truly is
Let it not be filled with greed
This bearer of hope, wonder and bliss

Damage not this fragile heart

Of a child too young at age
For his innocence should be kept in piece

It is strong
But it is weak
May you listen, and may you please
Be kind and be gentle
For just at least

Damage not this fragile heart

Of an affectionate mother with a pretty face
For her sacrifice is a sum you cannot repay

And damage not this fragile heart

Of a devoted lover who cared for her mate
For passion, a gift, is not for play

From her heart,
-joyce.

Flashbacks: Karaoke

2009-07-24T15:19:00.000+08:00

Testing, 1, 2, 3.

Coughs.

The milky way
Upon the Heavens
Is twinkling just for you
And Mr. Moon, he came by
To say goodnight to you
I'll sing for you
I'll sing for mother
We're praying for the world
And for the people everywhere
Gonna show them all we care

Oh, my sleeping child the world's so wild
But you've build your own
Paradise
That's one reason why I'll cover you sleeping child

If all the people
Around the world
They had a mind like yours
We'd have no fighting and no wars
There would be lasting peace on Earth
If all the kings and all
The leaders
Could see you here this way
They would hold the Earth
In their arms
They would learn to watch you play

Oh, my sleeping child the world's so wild
But you've build your own
Paradise
That's one reason why I'll cover you sleeping child
I'm gonna cover my
Sleeping child
Keep you away from the world so wild

This vivid recollection, mmm.

xxx

Michael Learns To Rock
Sleeping Child

Yummy for My Tummy

2009-07-16T15:37:00.000+08:00

Hello folks.

This is something I would like to share.
Easy to make, I can assure you.
Satisfaction guaranteed.

Prawn Salad & Seafood Cutlet

Ingredients:

1. Half a lemon
2. Lettuce (or any veggies that you like)
3. Some prawns (without their shells)
4. Big white onions
5. Sugar
6. Salt
7. Boiled potatoes
8. Walnuts (almonds would be nice too)
9. Crushed pepper
10. Extra-virgin olive oil
11. Parsleys!

Technically, I just chopped the parsleys, potatoes and onions.

Then throw them into a big bowl together with the lettuce and prawns.

Then squeeze some lemon juice.

Here's the trick. Grate in some lemon skin, but use only the yellow part. Mmm.

Add sugar, salt and pepper.

Crush in some walnuts..

Oh, and add two tablespoons of extra-virgin olive oil!

Then mix, and do more mixing.

And tadaaaa!

Too easy?

Just something I thought that is worth posting up.
Had it for lunch today.
It is so simple to make, yet so delicious!
Suitable for people who wants to eat a light, balanced meal.
Protein, carbohydrate, fibres, and minerals.

The cutlets are the best!
Those, are just simply.. Mmmph!
But I have not learnt the way to make it.
It was already on the table when I reached home.
Will ask mum.

-Joyce.

This Is Where I Live

2009-07-06T16:25:00.037+08:00

Here is something I composed a long time ago. To share.

-Joyce

This Is Where I Live

I believe that every soul created in this space and time has somewhere to live. Whether breathing or lifeless, there is a place where we truly belong. So, embrace yourself. Pray you be prepared for the utmost divine creation.

The universe, a cosmic area where is possibly infinite in volume. Stars, dust, and everything you can think about exists right there. It is the walls of our lives, enclosing a mystery beyond our imaginations. No one alive knows what rests outside that strange barrier. Could it be something ghastly and dreadful? Or is there a paradise with mystical beings and their fantasy awaiting? Out of billions of other galaxies, the Milky Way lies in it, consisting approximately a hundred thousand light years in diameter. Its visibility from our planet is a hazy band of white luminosity that is glimpsed in the dark firmament, arching across the entire celestial sphere which is concentric and coaxial with the Earth.

There, I live.

The Earth, the third planet from the Sun and is the largest of the four terrestrial inner planets in the Solar System, both in mass and in diameter. It is also known as Gaia by the Pelasgians during the Classical Greece period, and in astronomy, the Latin name is Terra. Earth is the prime habitat to millions of species such as the amphibians, fish, birds, reptiles, insects, and mammals, which includes the human race. This place is grand, illustrious, and filled with much unfathomable wonders. Sir Isaac Newton once revealed a fascinating theory about every object that goes up must come down. It is known as gravity. Earth’s wide horizons are for us to explore, gain new knowledge, and to make an enthralling discovery. However, many unexplainable queries of nature are left unsolved although countless wise men had vainly tried to reveal the secrets of the planet. Their efforts were futile. All we know for now is that the forest green terrains spread wide across the sphere globe and is separated by unpredictable deep blue waters.

Along with the other creatures, that is where I live.

In South East Asia, a fertile piece of land slightly larger than New Mexico is developed into a country by the name of Malaysia. With its location at the bordering of Thailand, Indonesia and Brunei and along the Straits of Malacca as well as the South China Seas, Malaysia is strategic and is known as a legend for her natural resources. The fertile regions nurture sturdy trees into jungles which shelter the animals and humans living below, also providing juicy fruits to them for survival. She has plentiful of prospects, such as limestone hills and the marvellous pinnacles of the Mulu Caves in Sarawak, a state rich with historical sites and customs. The climate in Malaysia too is warm and tolerable whole year round, encouraging crops to grow well.

My mother land she is.

The people here consist of various races and religions, different cultures and colours, and an assortment of languages. It is a vivid society indeed. The unique flavour about Malaysians is that we live in unison despite the distinguish contrast in our traditions. There are the Malays, Indians, Chinese, Ibans, Kadazans, Penans, and many others living as a big family in a single nation. We teach, guide, learn, and comprehend one another with pure respect and admiration. As an example, ‘nasi lemak’, ‘char kuey teow’, and ‘chapati’ are food by different races but nonetheless enjoyed by everyone. Traditional art such as the ‘Sumazau’ dance and the ’Bharanathiyam’ dance is participated by young children of all races too. The abundance of joy and prosperity we shared together is definitely a memory to cherish in our lifetimes. Unity we achieve, harmony we sustain.

In that community is where I belong.

Facing the open Straits of Malacca where sea gulls soar through the bank of clouds above, white foams rolling up the warm, golden sands and red water crabs strolling on the beach, I could taste the salty air each day. As the Sun radiates its glare every dawn, the water glimmers like precious pearls floating to shore. I experience the cooling, gentle breeze during the days, with zephyr tickling my neck as I stand wide-armed to summon pleasure. There in Port Dickson, a solid brick house that was built by my father’s own hands in year 1988 stands proud as a residence for a family of five. The walls are painted in ivory white, signifying glory and splendour. With the tone of crimson red on the roofs of our dwelling, it demonstrates courage and nobility of the inhabitants in it. We also have a stunted tree in front of the building, and my father constructed a tiny playhouse on one of the strong branches low enough for us to mount up.

Welcome to my humble abode.

Fifteen years ago, I was brought into the world after the escape from my mother’s womb. My father loves telling stories about my childhood during the time when he had to bathe, feed, and raise me up. My face was only his palm size. I reminisce the moments when my brothers tug at my pigtails for fun and leisure, one on each side of the head. It had hurt a lot, but the recollection was priceless. As a homemaker, my mother had great passion in baking scrumptious pastries and mouth-watering cakes that she made them for breakfast every weekend without fail. I am certainly proud to say I helped out tremendously in the eating process. She was satisfied. Besides, I could remember the stars as they wink at me teasingly on dark skies when we spent our time camping out at the backyard in tents made out of large pieces of bright yellow plastic sheets and long wooden sticks from cleaning mops as supports. We also collected piles of dried brown leaves and fallen twigs from the ground to ignite a fire while the five of us sit around it to roast marshmallows and sweet potatoes. The melodious sounds from the duet of the crickets and my father’s antique guitar still play in my head till this very day. On the nineteenth day of February year 1998, I recalled the solemn day when our old, faithful family dog, Thunder, left the world to a better place. Then again, I was not crying alone. My mother held me tight as I rested my head against her shoulders, whispered into my ears and said that we mortal beings have to leave this enchanting place someday. I learnt to trust her whole-heartedly.

I learnt to accept.

I felt the eternal binding love between us and the warmth they emit banish every fear I had as a child. They were there for me, shielding me away from any form of harm, and teaching me the philosophy of this beautiful life. In this family, I realise the importance to appreciate what I have and to be strong under any circumstances. From the bottom of my heart, I am thankfully glad that I found the right place. Under the universe. In the Milky Way. On the Earth, with people so civil. Below the twinkling stars. In a sheltered home. Born into a family of eternal blooming love.

This is where I live.

Jason Mraz's Blog

2009-07-05T12:19:00.000+08:00

It is inspiring. Check it out at www.freshnessfactorfivethousand.blogspot.com

(:

The Beginning

2009-07-05T11:14:00.002+08:00

An original story, a moment of realisation. Enjoy.

-Love, Joyce.

Of Love For Dolls And Wonder Cream

It was a morning like any other morning, Juliana rolled up on her feet when bright beams of warm light crept through the gaps between the curtained windows. Her bedroom was finely furnished with rich-textured wallpapers which created a slight hue of pink, plastered ceilings with detailed Roman carvings of archangels from the medieval age, and a crystal-decorated chandelier which sent out a ray of seven colours forming a spectrum at the centre of the space. She put her left foot down on the cold marble floor, and then danced gracefully to the miniature house made for twenty-nine dolls from the Princesses of The Sphere Collection at the right corner of the room. Juliana greeted each one with a pleasant smile, calling out their names one by one. She needed the thirtieth, Princess of Eastern China, to complete this collection. Still floating in her white nightgown, she headed out to find breakfast. Juliana was living a dream of materials and extravagance, almost to fit the royal blood.

Nutella’s hazelnut and chocolate cream on slices of perfect toast, she thought. Juliana’s stomach gave a disgruntled noise, obviously craving for food. As she walked along the wide passageway leading to the grand dining hall, Juliana stopped abruptly when she saw a lady dressed in formal white uniform coming out from one of the rooms. Her heart skipped a beat as she scanned the face, looking out for a positive expression.

“How is he today?” Juliana questioned with an unsteady quiver in her voice.

The family nurse looked up, gave Juliana a solemn look and moved on to the next room where all the medical equipments and drugs were kept. Juliana nodded to herself, pictured his condition in her head and proceeded to the kitchen to make a meal. What had she wanted to make? Yes, scrumptious Nutella’s hazelnut and chocolate cream on hot toast. She scoured the refrigerator for ingredients, but her eyes were empty, she was losing her mind. The cooling breeze continued to whirl around her face as she stared blankly at the jar of Nutella’s wonder cream on the first rack. Memories rushed in, and Juliana’s eyes were now filled with much grief and sorrow.

She lost her mother on her second birthday. Juliana has no recollection of meeting the person who gave her Life, this beautiful Life, but she knew the man who loved this soul well. Juliana’s father was strong, and he taught his daughter all about strength since the first day she learnt her ABC’s. He told her not to cry, tears were signs of weaknesses, he said. He reminded her that exposing the fragility of our hearts can cause grave danger. However, one night when little Juliana crept into his room to demand for a brief bedtime story, she was in a profound shock to find him so weary and breakable. She swore that she could have seen the deep tracks on his face made by the tears which flowed endlessly if she looked close enough. Yes, it cut him that terribly. Then, she learnt that the pain of losing someone can be brutal. He definitely missed his wife, but he loved their daughter just as much.

Everyday, he would tell her, “I love you, my little Juliana.” She would smile.

She took out the jar of Nutella’s hazelnut and chocolate cream, shut the refrigerator door, but did not make her marvel sandwich. Then, she took her plastic Powerpuff Girls’ spoon with her. It was her first freebie given by the Buttercup mascot at a cartoon carnival she visited long time ago. Not her best cutlery, but she liked it anyway. Heading towards his room, she felt nervous, but she needed to talk to him today. Juliana knocked on the door softly, already knowing that no one would answer. She went in quietly, eyes fixed on the motionless body lying in bed. She sat on the crimson red cushioned chair next to him, and then opened the jar of hazelnut and chocolate cream. Slowly, she scooped out a spoonful of her favourite sauce and took a mouthful as streams of pained emotions flooded down her cheeks. The salty flavour of human tears complimented the sweet taste of hazelnut

and chocolate. She trembled as she spoke.

“What happened to happy endings? And they lived happily ever after? Were you telling me lies all this while, Papa? These nine years? But you said it was a crime to lie. You said it yourself.”

He taught her how to swim in the blue sea at the age of three, teaching her about survival and living. He baked coloured sugar-coated cupcakes with her after watching the Martha Stewart show one Saturday, though the icings they crafted were obviously an amateur’s work. He bought Juliana her first puppy, went on Google to search and decide on a perfect dog’s name after she insisted, and cried with her when it died. He brought her to the beauty parlour to get her ears pierced at the age of six. He was the coolest dad in her Universe. He even allowed her to eat their special wonder cream straight from the jar, and it became a habit since that day on. He also started the doll collection for her, bringing one home from every business trip he made. He taught her how to ride a bicycle, and could only laugh out loud when she hurt herself carelessly. She learnt that it is alright to fall flat on her nose, just as long as she could stand up again, despite broken bones. He was unlike any father. He taught her good manners, showed her compassion, and he explained to her about people and their unique behaviours. Juliana’s father told her everything he knew about Life. He cared for her as if she was his most treasured possession. However, what she didn’t know was that she really was: his only and most treasured possession.

“Papa, papa! Do you promise to always, and I mean always always always love me?”

“Yes, Juliana. I promise to always always always love you.”

“And to be by my side for ever and ever and ever and we could both live happily ever after? Together with Princess of Western Europe and Royal Dolly too of course. What about hazelnut and chocolate cream every breakfast? It’s the most important meal of the day, you know.”

“Don’t ask things you already know, sweetheart.”

So, why must all of this happen? He had been unconscious for sixteen weeks. Juliana’s mind was clouded with confusion, perplexed by the sounds from the pacemaker machine. She was so angry, she was furious. She was losing hope.

“Please wake up, my Papa. You know that I need you, you realize that I would shatter into a million pieces if you leave me. You lost Mama before, surely you are aware that the wound would never recover. You are a man, you are my father, and you were strong enough to live. But I am just a child, I am your daughter. Could you bear to see me finish this race of Life all on my own, alone? I understand what you tell me about independence, I paid close attention to all of your lessons. But this is not the time, Papa. I know that you can hear me. Stay with me, I beg you, please.” Juliana was on both her knees.

“I love you,” she whispered.

One thing that little girls like Juliana didn’t know was that grown-ups like her Papa could hear every word their precious ones said, despite being in this condition. He was always there to listen. Always had been and always will. But, at that very moment, it was a struggle for him to speak; he was already having difficulty to move even at all. His limbs were useless. His eyes felt glued. His tongue betrayed his trust. Although paralyzed by his own system, he finally decided to communicate to her through his mind. He believed that she would be able to receive his last message, it was a connection that all fathers and daughters had. It was a secret most people forget.

‘Juliana, my little Juliana. Do hear your poor Papa.’

‘Will you be alright when I’m gone? Yes, I know that you will be. And you know that too, but please stop trying too hard not to believe. When you were born, your mother and I knew from the first glance that you were our sweet success. No words can explain the joy you bring into our world, you were the reason your mother left in peace. This is something I’ve never told you before; this is my last piece of pride.

Before your mother drew her last breath, she was anxious about my well-being. She knew too well that I would never survive, at least not without her. But during then I was embracing you in my arms, seeking comfort and support as I held your fragile frame. I cried and cried, because I was lost. I was too weak to bear the pain. I was a coward. Your mother’s eyes met yours and she turned to smile at me. I remember that smile, Juliana. She knew too well again that you would be my savior. You would keep me going.’

“Papa, please. I’m begging you. Do not leave me, not like this,” she cried and cried, because she was lost. It was just like he did before.

“I love you, I love you, I love you! Please wake up!” She was repeating herself. She was breaking.

She wanted to die.

‘Juliana, my child. Your mother and I would meet again, it is good news. We would be watching you; we would let no harm get in your way. Our love for you will keep you safe. Believe in us, my dear. You were always the stronger one. It is time now.’

It was then, she heard an almost silent croak, “I love you too, my little Juliana.”

xxx